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Tuesday, May 22, 2012 @ 3:40 AM
My love life has not been going smooth lately, but I can't blame anybody only myself. Because I chose this route myself. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was really very happy and blissful. Reason is not everyone can find someone they love, who love them back as well.
It's until lately, when all the arguments and disappointments happened, then I realized maybe we are not meant to be together. Often, I wanna let him go. I know it will break my heart, it will take time to forget him and probably take an even longer time to find another person that fits my heart. He didn't wanna let me go. Probably he loves me too much, probably he know that he will regret if he let me go too, i don't know. Sometimes when all these happens so often, it will make me question his love for me whether is it genuine or not. Of course, everybody wont wanna get hurt by the one they love most. But im those kinda person, who would rather get hurt deeply now, then to get hurt even more than before.
With his past, I don't know how long i can still hold on. Its like I never know when he will cheat on me or does things that hurt me. But I know something for sure is, I'm thankful towards God each day. At least for now at this very moment, he doesn't do things like this and I'm still with him.
Everyday, I try my very best to be nice and good to him. Be that nice girlfriend of his. I know i cant be a demanding girlfriend who bosses him around, cause that's definitely not nice. I myself wouldn't want a bf like that as well. Nobody loves to be boss around.
For now, I just hope that nothing goes wrong in this relationship. I just truly hope i will feel even more secure than before. I can only hope for the best.
Because, I love him way too much.
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